The lyrics to my ‘Xmas rant to the tune of Jingle Bells!’ song
[the italic bits are the “dashing through the snow” bit!….thought I’d let you know so you can sing along 😉 ]

Xmas rant to jingle bells

Jingle Bells, What the hell’s
this “Christmas” any way?
A time to spend much money
on things we cannot pay….for
Jingle Bells, adverts sells
us stuff we do not need
Puts us in debt all year long
For feeding corporate greed

So this year’s gonna be
My stand against this crap
No more will I heed
The call for corporate greed
I’ll just send loving thoughts
And wishes to the elves
That next year we will all go tell the
Shops to f**k themselves

Jingle Bells, What the hell’s
This Christmas thing we do?
We bloat ourselves on a big meal
Then live off turkey stew…oh
Jingle Bells, waistband swells
Our self-restraint is gone
We go out getting very pissed
And wake up next to some… one

We don’t know, and don’t like
What was it all about?
Shoulda just stayed home til feb-ry
Til daff- o-dils all come …out
I don’t need, for to feed
The xmas myth no more
I’ll shut the hell up soon though for
the fear of bein’ a bore

One last thing I’ll say
Don’t mis-read how I feel
It isn’t human love
Against which I do reel
It’s just the money god
That really gets my goat
And means my Christmas rant
Will now get stuck right down your throat!

Jingle Bells, now the spells
Been pointed out to all
I’ll leave you all in peace and
Hope you all do have a ball…but
Spend a thought instead of cash
And we might save the earth
Send out love instead of gifts
For it has much more worth.

by Kathrin Atkinson

…and this is the recording I did of it…


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